Grant me a sense of your presence, I pray, as I begin this next step in the journey we are taking together with this unfolding ministry that we are weaving out of my life. I know not for sure where I am going in this. I know well that the path I take will not be perfect nor straight, nor will I always stick to paths that lead to mutually satisfying goals. I will, more frequently than I like, miss the mark. But I have come not to believe, but to know deeply that I can not go anywhere without you. And for this I am more than grateful. And I pray that you will help me to not just hear you and see you, but to actually pay attention to you. May it be so.
There are so very many things that I wish to say.
As of right now, as I am actually typing this post, this whole website is all very new and very barren, but oh so incredibly pregnant with potential! There is currently so much I want to write about and yet there is currently little written and I am acutely aware of both. This does not bother me in the least, but it distracts me, and so even to get this far in this very post has taken the better part of an hour. A huge number of mental notes have been written and even a few written down.
At this time, even the “About” section of this site has scarcely more than a paragraph. So… why? Why this site? Well, as you will discover with me, there are many reasons – a whole bunch of which I am actually aware of! But perhaps the biggest part of the “why” question is actually wrapped up in the “Who?”. Who is this site intended for? It is for many. It is primarily for those seeking God. I do not mean those seeking belief – I mean those seeking communion, whether they know it or not. I keep thinking in particular of all who are at least slightly, somewhere, even if unconsciously, in touch with their spiritual nature but not seeing Christianity as offering anything to nurture their well being.
I am a scientist. I hesitate to call myself a believer, not because I am not, but because of the baggage the word has come to have associated with it for so many people. For those who’s backgrounds have them thinking of passages of woe to those who are ashamed of Christ, let me remind you of the passages of woe to those who put stumbling blocks in the way of those who are seeking.
I am not a believer because I read anything and believed it.
I am not a believer because I had any discussions with people who convinced me something was true.
I am not a believer because I have been brain washed into believing a set of doctrines or tenets.
I am a believer because of my direct experience and, having tried desperately for years and years to explain away my experience using all available scientific, cultural, and “rational” tools at my disposal, I found myself in relationship rather than belief or unbelief.